OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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