Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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