Are we in a gay sports bar?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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