its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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