Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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