i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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