I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
