I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
