She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
