he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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