You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
