...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
