i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
