White coat. Heels.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
