Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
