I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the day after is always just damage control
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
