And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
