He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
