forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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