Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize