WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
