Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize