I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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