help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
