IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize