i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
