friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You need a sexual gate keeper
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
