I didn't shave. On purpose
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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