There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want to make out with him forever
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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