we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
