I want to stick my p in your. b.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
