Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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