I just made out with a guy for $7.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
