If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
