Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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