How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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