Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Vodka?
Forever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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