So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
