I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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