I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
