I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
