1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
