Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
