Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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