good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
