Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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