Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize