well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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