that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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