margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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