WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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