I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we're making bets on your personal life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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