what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
