Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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