everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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