How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
