Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
