what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize