Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Two words: nipple clamps
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