last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
