That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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