You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
