Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
