Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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